The Purple Party Pill

As a writer, when I'm faced with something that I can't possibly understand, such as drugs, I have a hard time writing it. I think the best writing comes from a basis of understanding, and having never taken drugs myself, I couldn't effectively write a party scene where my main character was dosed.

So my husband and I were in a store, and we saw this item called, "Purple Party Pill." Curious, we bought one, and approximately two hours ago I took it. Please note, I considered this LONG AND HARD before I took it, and in fact, did research on the internet about its effects. I figured that this was a great time to take it, as I don't have to work tomorrow, and in case something bad did happen, my husband was here, he had the package, and I could recover tomorrow. We had no plans for the evening... I was going to write and he was going to play his game.

It took about an hour for the thing to take effect. I could tell it was starting to do something when my normally extremely-pale skin flushed brilliantly, and I felt like the pores on my face had opened up, my ears had opened up, and blood was gushing forth from everywhere. I looked down at my hands, and to my dismay, the tips of my fingers up to my elbows was red. I don't mean just like, flushed red. I mean RED RED. Scared and alarmed at the sensations, I called for my husband and told him to take notes for me, because I never, ever, ever wanted to do this again.

I described in detail what I was going through, and that was when the uncontrollable urge to throw up struck. I swallowed some Pepto, hoping that would help, but it didn't. Instead the urge got stronger, so I made my way to the bathroom and promptly puked my guts out. (No wonder the pill says you should take it on an empty stomach...)

Literary research, I decided, was not worth this.

I wanted to try and sleep the sickness off, but when I put my hand under my pillow and turned on my side, a common way for me to sleep, I had this horrible vision of the blood that's rushing through my body somehow cutting off circulation to my hand, and that when I woke up, my hand would be shriveled and black and they would have to amputate it. I even saw myself in court, trying to sue the Purple Party Pill people.

Again I called for my husband, who brought me a glass of milk. He had noted that one pill contained approximately the same amount as 4-5 Cokes, which for me to consume in a day is not abnormal. In fact, it's quite normal, and I actually tend to drink more than that, on top of coffee.

For a long time I just lay there in bed, unable to move, staring at the ceiling. Moving caused nausea, and there was (and still is) currently a horrible pain in my stomach, right at the base of my ribcage.

If this is what the "legal" pills do, I thought to myself, no wonder kids take the illegal ones.

I again tried to sleep, having calmed down a bit, but instead I dragged myself out of bed to write this up, lest I forget it later. I had wanted to write tonight, but it seems like my thoughts won't focus on anything. I don't want to get up and dance, like the packaging on the pill suggested I would, but instead, I want to curl up in a ball and wait for this shit to get out of my system. This, dear friends, is NOT fun.

I promise I will never purchase one of these things again, and from now on if I ever want to do research on drugs, I'll ask friends that I know have taken them. This is a ridiculous, horrible feeling. I don't know if other people have had good experiences with it, but I know that if it were up to me, I'd yank these things off the market if for no other reason than false advertising. It should say, "Will cause nausea and an inability to move or concentrate" instead of, "Will make you want to dance all night!"

Now to try and sleep this off...

Viv out!